Allowing A Perfect Body

Living compulsively versus living with intention

2010-10-29T16:38:00Z

I’ve started to think of Abraham’s Upstream/Downstream as a metaphor for my weight going up and down. When I’m in the downstream, I eat healthy, I don’t attach feelings to food, and I choose what I eat from a place of peace and expectation. I feel good about myself and my body reflects my thinking and overall vibration by releasing weight. When I’m in that zone, it feels easy to me to be there and stay there. I feel strong, productive and connected.

When I’m in the upstream, I revert back to becoming this naughty, rebellious little girl who uses food to “get back” at everyone who has angered, hurt or frustrated her in her life. I eat based on what is handy and sounds good to my compulsive mind. I make choices based on the petulant emotions of a child who felt powerless in her own life. Naturally my body reflects my thinking and overall vibration by creating more weight.

The problem with the upstream situation isn’t just that I’m not connected and therefore feeling bad about myself. It’s also the fact that I’m not really getting back at anyone except myself. None of the people in my past who hurt me and helped to launch this silliness in my life are in the least effected by how much weight is on my body. When I’m thinking rationally I understand that fact. But when I’m feeling compulsive, it feels like I’m getting some sort of revenge . . . ridiculous, misguided and pointless revenge.

Another problem is that I seriously don’t enjoy a thing I put in my mouth when I’m in the “upstream”. I think my taste buds rebel against my self loathing vibration and shut down. Food becomes a weapon I use, supposedly against others but mostly against myself.

Anyone who has never experienced this would say, “then why don’t you just stay in the downstream?”

It’s a good question, just not a simple one. I think it’s partly because the downstream doesn’t feel as natural to me as upstream. I wasn’t taught downstream as a child, I was taught “push against at all costs”. Not that I was taught pushing against anything worked particularly, no one had any real idea of what would work, pushing against was simply the only option offered.

Now through Law of Attraction and Abraham, I’ve been introduced to other options. However after a lifetime of pushing against my weight, simply staying on a downstream path doesn’t feel as natural to me as pushing against feels.

It’s like putting on a really ugly suit. Think of a really bad suit that looks horrible, is ill fitting, has holes in places showing body parts you seriously don’t want to exhibit, is terribly stained, very old and really awful. In spite of the fact that it binds in places, creates a draft in others, makes you look absolutely your worse . . . like an old, stained and tattered clown . . . who got run over repeatedly by the little car filled with 32 other clowns. You slip into it without even thinking because you’ve worn it for so much of your life that it’s more comfortable than anything else. And worse, when you’re not wearing it, you can’t imagine your life without it. It sits there, carelessly thrown across the chair, waiting for you to put it back on again. It’s become a part of your identity. Somehow allowed in your life without your conscious approval.

I don’t want to wear that suit anymore . . .

Abraham has taught me that the only way to change something I don’t want is to find and singularly focus on what I DO want. So . . . from this moment forward I am going to reinvent my life, create an entirely new version of me. One that is all the things I’ve always known, deep inside, I came here to experience. I commit to seeing myself as someone who is always in the downstream. I see myself as someone who cares about her body and nurtures it in the most healthy and loving ways. I see myself as strong, determined and focused on being the best I can be. I see myself as the spiritual being I’ve always been, but haven’t allowed in the reflection I see in the mirror.

I will find the way, I will be guided, I will enjoy the journey, I will succeed!

Much love to all of you,

Tigerlily

Floundering my way into focus

2010-10-25T16:58:00Z

I’ve been floundering lately. Lost in my own life, my past and in that voice in my head that says “you can’t, what makes you think you can?” I have to admit, as much as Abraham says we have to love where we are in order for it to change, I find it very hard to love where I’ve been lately. It’s a frustrating place, filled with self doubt and feelings of powerlessness.

One thing I’ve learned these last couple of years is that in order to release weight, I have to stay in the vortex, I have to stay in the downstream flow, I have to consciously feel my connection. It’s just the only way for me to shut off the noisy chatter that sends me to food for all the wrong reasons.

When I am in the vortex and feeling connected and strong, I eat healthy, I eat to enjoy the food and to fuel my life. If I’m not actively staying in the vortex, I slip into mindlessness. Mindlessness inevitably leads to feelings of “I can have just a little of this and a little of that” which leads to feelings of guilt. Guilt leads to feeling disconnected and alone, which leads directly into obsessive eating. It’s such a short trip from feeling empowered and eating right to following that noise inside my head, which if I’m not connected, is always pushing me to eat, eat, eat.

I’ve learned for me, it’s pretty much all or nothing, I’m either in the vortex, with a positive mindset and eating healthy, or I'm headed in the direction of being out of control. That’s what I’ve been feeling lately, for quite a while, and I’m tired of it.

Thank Grace . . . today I woke up feeling stronger. The sense of "I've had enough" mixed with the budding sense of strength and determination. This happens to me occasionally, I’ll wake up feeling this way, but I've never known how to harness the determination and strength when it comes. Those feelings tend to arrive feeling ephemeral, uncertain and undependable.

But this time, I'm determined to find out how to encourage and nurture that part of me. I want to nullify the noise that says "I can't". But I know enough Abe to realize there is no way to nullify anything, we can only strengthen its opposite.

“The trouble with that is when you decide that you're going to deactivate a thought, you don't deactivate it, you activate it. When you say "I'm not going to think about that", you're thinking about that which you're not going to think about. Even when you say "I don't want to be sick, I'm going to think about wellness", when you approach the subject of your physical body when your dominant thought about it has been sickness, even though you try to do a Virtual Reality about wellness, you usually activate the thought of illness because that's the dominant thought relative to that subject. You see how it works?” Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks workshop in Indianapolis, IN, on Tuesday, May 28, 2002

I’m thinking maybe I’m not so unfocused and weak as I’ve been convinced I am, I mean these tentative feelings of strength and determination wouldn't come to me if I weren't capable of utilizing them, would they? Aren’t they as much a part of me as any other feelings I have? Aren’t they just as available to me as feelings of love or joy . . . or even of pessimism?

Aren't I capable of focusing on them and therefore expanding them the same way I’ve focused on the doubt lately and expanded it? As fleeting as they feel, aren't they here to assist me with change in my life. And isn’t that fleeting feeling I relate to them simply a value I’ve given them and therefore can change. I mean I never attach “fleeting” to feelings of love. Feeling that I am a loving person is something I feel comfident about, something I feel I can depend upon.

Can’t I choose to see myself as a focused, determined and strong woman and therefore see those as dependable emotions in my life?

So today's thought is how do I encourage and nurture the feelings of determination and strength in myself? How do I stay focused on them so they begin to grow and develop? How do I become a determined woman of strength and focus, capable of creating any life she wants?

That may seem like a simple question, but I’ve never been good at conscious focusing before. Not really. Occasionally in my life I’ve seen something that I truly wanted and was able to appreciate it and let it go. When I’ve done that I attracted magnificently. I’ve also done a lifetime of unintentional creation. Mindlessly focusing and attracting things . . . much I wanted, and much I didn’t necessarily want. I’ve also been a complete expert on focusing and therefore attracting something I never wanted, extra weight. However purposely focusing on a feeling or range of feelings in order to expand them, that’s a new concept for me.

Oh, I’m capable of finding the silver lining in most situations, and of momentarily changing negative thoughts to positive ones. Many years of Abe have taught me that, and with it has come a certain amount of overall happiness. But in order to change the entire momentum of my life, to turn my creating completely around and head it in an entirely new direction, well that’s going to take a lot more than turning blue thoughts into pink ones.

I guess the concept is the exactly same thing though, changing my thoughts and therefore changing my focus. But in order to sustain the new focus, I’ve got to pump some steroids into the process. I’ve got to supersize the feelings I want to experience, turbo them up in order to make them stronger than the impulses of self doubt which at this time feel much more natural.

Jack (my hypnotherapist) and I have been talking about changing my life. And with him I realized I don’t know who I really am. I don’t know the being of pure, positive energy who came into my life experience before all the “conditioning” and “teaching” took effect. Who I was before I was taught “for my own good” to stuff the sound of my inner voice, to doubt my abilities, my power, myself. My socializing was so complete that I lost touch with who she is almost completely.

I’ve been thinking lately about who I might have been if I hadn’t accepted so wholeheartedly the self doubt I was taught. What might I have accomplished? How strong, determined and focused would I have been if I had never known self doubt? How empowered would I have felt? What might I have created in this life?

Surprisingly those thoughts don’t upset me, they inspire me. Because I know as long as I’m breathing, it’s not too late to meet her, to unleash her, to become her. I’m just not entirely sure how to do that. But I think nurturing the little seed of determination I’m feeling this morning is key. I think that somehow turbo charging the strength I feel this morning is key. I think, as Abe says, it’s time to make a decision.

“Make a decision about what you want, focus your attention there, and find the feeling-place of it -- and you are there instantly. There is no reason for you to suffer or struggle your way to or through anything.” Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks book Ask and It Is Given, page 291

It’s time to decide which thoughts I’m going to put my energy into and which ones I’m going to let starve from inattention. It’s time to use my thoughts to encourage feelings of strength, determination and success.

“Thoughts that you set forth in combination with great emotion are the most powerful of your thoughts, whether they are positive thoughts (in the direction of what is wanted) coupled with positive emotion, or negative thoughts (in the direction of what is not wanted) coupled with negative emotion — the strong emotion that you feel as you are giving thought, indicates that you are bringing into physical realization, that which you are giving thought to, very quickly.” Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks workshop , February 12, 1994

It’s time . . .

Much love,

Tigerlily

Learning about myself

2010-08-23T17:15:00Z

I am learning so much lately. I’ve been learning what it’s like to not obsess over food. I never even realized how much of an obsession food has been in my life until now. My thought patterns were created and cemented in my head during childhood. Only lately have I come to realized just how much of my waking hours were devoured by thoughts about food, actually eating and obsessing over losing weight. (I also realized that I never, ever dream about any of that when I sleep, which I find very interesting.) I guess to some degree I believed what I thought and felt about food was normal. I didn’t realize that there was another way for me to think. My thinking patterns were so ingrained in fact, that until they started changing due to the hypnosis, I honestly didn’t know the patterns were there, much less how destructive to my mind, heart and body they were.

As my thinking changes, my life is changing dramatically. The weight is melting off, (30 pounds so far) but surprisingly enough, as it’s happened, it’s become secondary to me, which I never would have dreamed to be the case. More important to me are the things I’m learning about myself. Like that for the last few years, I’ve used food to avoid life itself. And that actually feeling my feelings is so much better than stuffing them.

Also, I knew like everyone, I could use a little more self-respect and self-love, but I never realized exactly how hard I’ve been on myself. I didn’t see how constantly berating myself over not being able to lose weight in the past was beaten me down. It was like a big dark cloud that hung over my life and I was so used to it being there that I didn’t even realize it was dark. That feeling of overcast had become my default position with me smiling through the haze.

I think part of the reason I was so oblivious to it was because in every other aspect of my life I’ve always been an optimist. Regarding everything except my weight, it was my nature to find the bright side of things, because I never enjoyed feeling bad or indulging in self-pity. When I found the Law Of Attraction through Abraham-Hicks, I discovered a whole philosophy based on feeling good. No wonder it spoke to my soul the way it has.

I understood that according to Abe, I can “be do or have” anything I want, yet for years I’ve grappled with why I couldn’t change my thinking to allow myself to let go of the weight once and for all. It was like this big black hole for me and I couldn’t see a way out of it. I now realize it’s because unless we know what we are thinking, we can’t change it. I honestly wasn’t aware of how much of my mind was involved in my obsession or how negative and subversive my thinking was about myself.

However as seeds of optimism, self-love and new thinking are being planted in my subconscious mind through hypnotherapy, I’ve started to become aware of my thoughts, they are coming to light. It’s usually very subtle, I’ll just realize I’ve been thinking differently about something, or something has been easier. Sometimes it comes in huge flashes of awareness and I’m dumbstruck how something a thought pattern I’ve felt for so long has changed and no longer applies to my life. Or I will be delighted when I realize that I’m developing a genuine desire for something I never liked before or had any desire for in the past.

The basis of Law of Attraction is what you focus on, you attract. But until hypnotherapy, I never understood I could change my thoughts, much less how to do it. So discovering an active way to bring them to light has been wonderful for me. I love hypnosis, I love how good I feel when I leave his office. I love how my confidence is building, and how effortless that seems to feel. I love getting to know myself better and feeling better and better in my own skin, my own life.

I love that I don’t feel obsessive or compulsive about food and eating anymore. I love that for the first time I can remember in my life, the black cloud is dissipating, it’s growing lighter and lighter and fading away.

Much love,

Tigerlily

Hypnosis – The Key To Change

2010-07-01T17:12:00Z

When I allowed the right hypnotherapist into my life, my life changed. Admittedly before meeting my therapist I wasn’t much of a believer in hypnosis. Not for any spiritual or intellectual reason, but because I’d been to two different ones in my distant past and neither of them produced a drop of positive results for me.

Both were a long, long time ago, and both were more therapeutic in process, as opposed to spiritual. They were very scripted in nature, passing along what they had been taught, by rote. There was no warmth, nor was there any real personal discussion about why I had come to see them. They knew the minute I walked in the door why I was there, and they proceeded with a almost monotone session, which I’m sure was the same with everyone else who walked in the door. I sincerely doubt either of them are still active in hypnotherapy anymore.

So I was surprised at my reaction when I first heard my sister talk about her experience with him. I knew instantly he had been sent to me as an answer, a blessing, a guide and teacher. My sessions with him are uplifting beyond words. They are deeply spiritual experiences for me, and he tells me the words which flow out of his mouth are all guided by my personal guides, my support team in non-physical.

I walk in his door feeling good about myself, but I walk out feeling euphoric, filled with confidence, connection, and a feeling of being loved that always has my feet a couple inches off the ground. He reflects, like a mirror, my connection back to me. He sees me as the spirit I am inside and reminds me to see myself as that spirit too. We talk about the things I want to change in my life and he instantly sees me as changed already, then he reinforces that changed person in my mind. My visits are highlights in my life right now, guiding me, showing me who I really am and springboarding me to change. And the even more wonderful thing is that they are working! The evidence is undeniable.

We’ve been meeting, at a pace completely set my be, for 2 months and the hypnotic suggestions he has been planting in my subconscious have been germinating, the roots are digging in and taking hold in my thinking. The first couple of weeks I needed lots of concentration and determination to stay focused on eating healthy and allowing my body to release weight. It wasn’t easy peasy for me, but I was determined, I knew I had been led to a huge answer in my life and I was willing to do whatever was needed to allow it to happen.

And now, over the course of the last month and a half, I’ve noticed that staying focused just keeps getting easier and easier. I don’t have to work at eating healthy, the suggestions he’s planting in my mind have started doing the work for me. I'm changing, naturally, from the inside out. It's no longer a struggle to stay focused on eating healthy, or rather less healthy eating choices don't seem natural to me anymore.

The insatiable mind hunger I experienced all my life, that noisy voice talking "food", "food", "food" has quieted. The urgency to focus on food constantly . . . eating it, obtaining it, and just thinking about it . . . has faded and morphed into a growing curiosity about what “healthy food” really means.

Cravings I’ve lived with all my life for salty, crispy, fatty, savory and sweet have been replaced with a feeling of being more in balance, and into desires for freshness, healthfulness and variety. My desire for fast food, or even restaurant foods in general used to torment me. If I was driving home, hungry or not, I’d be thinking about where to stop, what to buy, when and how to eat. Feeling full of fear of arriving home and having missed the opportunity to bring something easy, hot and loaded with calories with me. Each restaurant I passed represented a different opportunity to indulge. Not sate by any means, I was never satisfied, but a empty attempt to fill the self devouring cavern that was inside me.

Now I've noticed, a drive home is more about the sunshine coming in the windshield, or list of errands I have next to me, or maybe that interesting person in the car sitting next to mine. I find myself focused on anything other than the multitude of restaurants passing by the windows.

And when my old patterns rise in my mind, KFC or Pizza Hut pushes its way into my consciousness, I think to myself, “Yeah, I can have that. Is that what I really want?” Nine times out of ten, the answer is “No” and I drive past, feeling fulfilled, happy and free.

Yes, it’s working. God Bless hypnotherapy. God bless people like my hypnotherapist who are committed to helping people explore who they are, why they do what they do and what life can be like if they allow it to change. He talks about me “melting” . . . the pounds simply melting off my body effortlessly, and that’s exactly what is happening. 25 pounds have melted off me in the last 2 months. But the most important thing to me isn’t the weight leaving my body. Surprisingly, it’s the peace I feel in my mind and heart. It’s the strength I feel building inside me and the feeling of power over my life I’ve received for the first time in my life. It’s no longer feeling controlled by restaurant chains, food itself and the dieting industry. It's the quiet peacefulness of a mind working for me. It’s freedom.

I urge anyone who resonates with what I write to say a prayer and ask Spirit, your inner being, guides and/or angels to guide you to a spiritual hypnotherapist who is right for you. Someone who will see you as the Spirit you already are and always have been and reflect that back to you. It has changed my life and I have a strong feeling it will do the same for you.

Much love,

Tigerlily

Momentum and Blossoming

2010-06-14T16:16:00Z

Well I’m so proud to report that I’ve released 17 pounds in the last month! I'm very proud, Yeah me!!!

Yet I have to admit that sometimes I feel like it takes so much effort to stay focused and think positively about releasing weight. Sometimes it feels like a huge, continuous and tiring effort to believe in myself and my capability to ever do it permanently. Or I guess, more honestly, it just feels so much easier to lapse back into old thinking.

When I think about my whole lifetime of thinking in terms of “I’ll never get the weight off”, “I’m not strong enough”, “I’ll always be fat”, “I don’t have what it takes”, I realize that I’m still just dealing with momentum. I know when those thoughts come up that it’s only my “false self” speaking, but it makes me wonder when those thoughts will become quieter than my new thinking of belief in myself and “I can do this!” When I really look at the incredible amount of passionate and even dispassionate negativity I’ve dumped upon myself in my life, I realize it makes sense to be asking these questions. And taking a little while to get to where my optimism and faith in myself are more ingrained and comfortable to me than the negative patterns of the past is normal.

I remember Abraham-Hicks talking about how sometimes we don’t feel like we are getting anywhere, even after working to change our thinking, but it’s just the ending of slowing of negative momentum. They compare it to a semi-truck barreling down the highway, and how it takes some time for the truck to stop, much less turn completely around. For those of us who’ve had years of patterned thinking it can take some time to “slow down the truck”. As usual they said the answer is to turn away from thoughts of negative momentum and focus instead on the momentum you are building, the goal you are building momentum toward.

Again I realize it’s all about belief. When my mind starts going to that place where it seems hard, in that moment is the answer to everything. Because in that moment I get to make a choice to feel the heaviness of habit or to choose to look for the lightness of faith. In that moment lies the biggest blessing this life has to offer us, the gift of choice. The choice to believe that in faith all answers are easy.

“The trees in winter dream of their budding in the spring. So too you can dream of the growth you wish for in this coming year. You can dream of the things you want to create in your life. The trees do not know how their buds will be called forth. Instead it is in their very makeup and genetic program to respond to the impulses of weather and sunlight to do so. So too, dear ones, you do not need to know how your dreams will be called forth in your own life. You only need acknowledge them and trust that it is in your soul's makeup and program to respond to the impulses of the universe when they are given.” The Angels as channeled through Ann Albers 02/20/10

When staying focused feels like a burden, I realize I’m simply letting old patterns get the best of me in that moment. I have a choice to see myself exactly as I would see a tree or a rose. With all the secrets of the Universe alive within their branches and petals. They don’t question if they are going to grow, blossom and bloom. They simply live in faith that the Universe, through the sun, rain, and soil will provide them with whatever they need to become what they are destined to be.

"Make peace with where you are. Appreciate your magnificent body as it is. Appreciate that it moves and that it is flexible and that it digests, that it assimilates. Accept the cellular metabolism, the cellular functioning. Your body is a veritable chemical factory. It is an amazing mechanism. It is morphing constantly into that which is new. It is constantly becoming. It will be whatever you ask it to be. It will be whatever you ask it and allow it to be. It will be whatever you want it and allow it to be. It will be whatever you ask and allow it. It will be whatever you see it to be. It will be whatever you EXPECT it to be!” Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in Sedona, AZ on August, 25 2007

It’s the same with me. Everything I need is supplied by Grace to achieve any goal in my life. My job is to just allow the answers, believe in myself and expect success!

Much love,
Tigerlily

Finding Answers

2010-05-31T13:42:00Z

Hello,

Well I’ve been feeling very lost lately, for months in fact. Knowing that I have a purpose in this life, yet not being able to figure out exactly what it is. I know it’s all tied up with releasing weight and allowing my body to find it’s own place of perfection. But I haven’t been able to overcome all the old patters, habits and thinking that has gotten me to where I am, the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life. Even with years of Abraham-Hicks behind me, I haven’t been able to simply “think” my way to allowing my perfect body to happen. I feel like so many people who sit in the hot seat at an Abraham-Hicks seminar and say the teachings have helped them in every aspect of their lives except releasing weight. I’ve learned allot, and I’ve experienced periods of success, but I haven’t been able to stay focused and truly change my thinking and therefore my life permanently.

I’ve been at a crossroads lately, praying for inspiration, motivation and guidance. Asking Source for direction to the answers I need to get back into the allowing flow of eating healthy, of feeling powerful and in control of my life, and back on track, or rather, and better, to find a new track.

Then one quiet afternoon, my sister mentioned something to me that instantly gave me hope. She told me she had been to a Psychic Fair and met a man who gave her and my nephew readings about their past lives. She said the man was incredible and he’s also a hypnotist. As she talked about how wonderful he had been, a realization grew in my soul. I knew to the core of my being, here was one of the answers I'd been asking for, Source was coming through. I immediately made my first appointment. That was about a month ago, and seeing him over the last few weeks has been truly amazing.

How I think about myself, about my past, about releasing weight, and about my own power to create my life has begun to change, from the inside out. In the past, even when I was in the powerful, allowing flow of eating healthy, I always felt like there was a battle going on inside me. The huge conscious part of me was feeling so strong, so determined to do the things I needed to do to release the weight. Yet, inside me was a struggle of mythic proportions, my subconscious battling me at every turn, waiting patiently but forcefully for the opportunity to turn me back toward the path that has gotten me here.

I’ve been experiencing this internal battle all my life, and it’s the reason I’ve never succeeded at permanently releasing the weight. Many times I’ve been able to release 25, 50 even 100 pounds in my life, but I’ve never been able to stay focused long enough to sustain the weight release or to change my thinking permanently. I’ve never been able to quiet that ongoing battle or to conquer the loud and incessant voice of my subconscious.

Abraham has always said that if we dwell on the past, we’re doomed to repeat it, they often say if we can turn away from the past and are successful at releasing it completely, we will be free from it. I understand what Abraham says, and I know for some it is that simple. I know that it could be that simple for all of us. However, I’ve learned lately that for me (and maybe lots of others, maybe for those who sit in the hot seat and ask why) the key is the part about “releasing it completely”. I think that’s the tricky part. That’s the part that has made it not as simple or easy as Abraham says it could be. Or rather not as simple and easy as I’ve wanted it to be.

What I found out is that for me, in order to quiet that ongoing battle for control with my subconscious I needed help. I needed to understand the power my subconscious has had over me. I had to face the feelings behind the experiences in my past which not only brought me to where I am today, but which my subconscious uses to keep me imprisoned. I needed to see the past for what it truly is, just a string of experiences I’ve created, for a multitude of reasons. None of which are valid today, or were ever really valid for that matter. They are simply experiences I attracted to allow my soul’s desire for expansion and growth. I needed to truly accept that the past is over, and those experiences have no power except that which I give them today. Counseling and hypnosis are allowing me to see that. They are providing the key, the “releasing it completely” key.

Through looking at some of my past lives, I’ve received a few new visions of myself being so much more than what I have seen and felt in this life alone. I’ve gotten a bigger more overall view of myself. The battle in me is subsiding and I don’t feel I’m constantly at odds with the voice inside my head as much anymore.

I also love watching the Universe orchestrate the events that happen in my life. I love how when I’m open and ready to allow it, I see the evidence of things, people, situations which have already been lined up to answer the questions or fulfill the desires of my heart.

Not long after starting with the hypnotist, I recorded an episode of Oprah, it took me a couple of weeks to finally watch it, but when I did, I felt exactly the same way as Oprah said she felt. By the end of the hour I knew I had found another huge answer in my life. The episode was titled “Why Oprah Says She’ll Never Diet Again!” and it featured a woman whose books I’ve been reading for years, Geneen Roth. She has a new book, Women Food and God, and it’s truly, truly amazing. It tells us we can free ourselves from food obsession by knowing who we are, and that our “Relentless attempts to be thin take you father and farther away from what could actually end your suffering: getting back in touch with who you really are.”. She talks about how the deepest answers of our can be found woven within our biggest issue. That the key to living happy, vibrant, healthy lives reside within the secrets held in our obsession about food. She leads us to face and embrace the feelings that have been sending us into a bag of potato chips, or a half gallon of ice cream, and to come out on the other side of them. Finally becoming aware and therefore powerful and free.

I’m only halfway through the book, but I honestly can’t wait to finish it just so I can start over and reread it again. I can see so clearly how the hypnosis, counseling and principles of the book are working together to lead me to the answers of my life.

And while I’m not in the place of rampant enthusiasm I had a couple of years ago about obtaining my Heart’s Desire to release the weight, I have gained a peacefulness with my own thinking that is new, and I feel my enthusiasm building again. Only this time it feels like something tangible, something I can trust, and use to change my life.

I can feel this really is a turning point in my life. I will not go up anymore, and I have promised myself I will do whatever it takes to allow my answers, to stay focused, and continue forward on the path to letting go of all the extra weight on my body and allowing it to find it’s own place of perfection. I've lost 11 pounds in the last couple of weeks, again, (I think this is probably the 150th time I've lost that same 11 pounds). But who cares, it's gone!

I’m glad you are here, along for this ride.

Much Love,

Tigerlily

The Power Of Decision

2010-01-19T18:44:00Z

Hello,

I’ve had some big lessons lately in the power of decision. There is simply nothing more powerful than making a determined and definite decision about something. For me, it’s usually derived from the feeling of being entrenched in contrast to the point where there feels like there is no other answer. When I finally do stomp my foot down and decide that I will create something different, it’s truly an amazing . . . feeling at least for a while . . .

Power In Decision

You could not begin to decide what is wanted if you did not have the contrast of what is not wanted—and from your broader Nonphysical perspectives, as creators, you understand that what a decision is is a literal focusing of Energy. In other words, everything is about Energy, and the way you express it, the way you focus it, the way you channel it, the way you guide it, the way you utilize it, the way you become a part of it, the way you get involved in it. The way you become a creative force, utilizing Energy, is by your perspective, by your belief, by your attention, by your focus, by your decision. Can you feel the difference in the power in saying, “I would like to have that or I want that” and “I’ve decided.” In decision, there is simply a focusing of Energy, and our dominant intent, as we are interacting with you here—is to help you understand, without any question whatsoever, how to know, how to sense or feel, whether you are a vibrational match to your own decision. Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks Quarterly Journal - Oct/Nov/Dec 1997

The decisions I’ve been making lately are as varied as the many aspects of my life. But none is so strong within me as the decision that I WILL RELEASE THIS WEIGHT ONCE AND FOR ALL! I am simply through thinking in terms of “trying”, or “hoping”. I have decided this physical incarnation of mine will not end in me still wanting to be thin, I will accomplish my goal and live as a thin person for the rest of my time in physical. I will do it. I will experience that reality.

I am through living in this body and feeling almost helpless to change it. In my past, that decision has always been made in desperation out of the discomfort of contrast, and it has never lasted much past the easing of the contrast. I’ve known I could change my weight in increments for a limited amount of time. However never has the ultimate knowing that “I can do this, once and for all” lasted for any longer than the actual weight loss has, usually much less. I’ve never had much faith in my decision making or my ability to let the weight finally go.

What I’ve discovered recently is that making a decision to do something once and for all and faith itself are intrinsically linked. The key to one is in the other. I mean a decision, no matter how firm, will fizzle pretty quickly without any faith in oneself to accomplish the goal. And faith alone will eventually attract what we want, but not as surely as it does when reinforced by the decision that we “will have” whatever it is.

Due to Jerry Hicks often discussed recommendation, I’ve been reading Napoleon Hill’s Think And Grow Rich. In the book Hill discusses faith as being a choice. I’ve honestly never thought about it that way before. I always thought faith was something you either had or were lacking, and the idea that I could actually create faith in my life was a new thought to me. I’ve felt pretty much the same way about making decisions, when contrast is high, decisions come easy, but sustaining those decisions to me has always seemed something more involved with fate than choice.

But then I read Hill talk about faith as a choice . . . he says it’s something that can be induced and developed and he even tells us how, and I love it.

I simply adore discovering that faith can be cultivated. That’s a concept I’ve woefully pleaded to better understand most of my life. “God please, tell me how to have more faith . . . in you, in myself, in my ability to create my life.”

I love knowing that even the amount of faith I have is within my power to choose.

That realization also led to me seeing that sustaining the decisions I make are exactly the same . . . that both the determination of decision making and faith itself require daily focus and choice.

Make a decision about what you want, focus your attention there, and find the feeling-place of it -- and you are there instantly. There is no reason for you to suffer or struggle your way to or through anything. Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks book Ask and It Is Given, page 291

I don’t know exactly what tools will work best to get me to my goal, however to be honest, I find that to be the most exciting part of the process. Delightfully expecting what awarenesses Spirit has on the way to me to help me on this path. I’m learning to trust myself and to look to Source for the inspiration to stay determined, faith filled and to succeed.

Make a decision that your action is action that is inspired rather than action that is motivated. Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks workshop Tarrytown, NY on October 18, 1998

Understanding that making a decision and sticking with it, and that the amount of faith I have is within my control are huge concepts for me. I honestly think that those two blocks in my understanding were bigger issues for me than the actual weight I carry on my body.

Human perspective says, “Here I am in an incomplete place and I would like to get over there, and I would do it with magic or I would do it with trickery or I would do it with a metaphysical guru . . . I would do anything that it takes to get over there. That’s what I want.” And we say, no that isn’t what you want. What you want is the excuse to get to go from here to over there. It’s the day-to-day unfolding. It’s the meaning of interaction. It’s the stimulation of thought. It’s the new ideas that flow to you. It’s the thrill of formulating a decision and knowing you’re nowhere near vibrational harmony with the decision. And then it’s the thrill of getting a little closer to it and feeling the relief of it clicking into place, and then the thrill of feeling the expanded thought bringing expanded information and different people and different understanding. And then it’s the thrill of chewing on that and coming to a greater conclusion. And then its the thrill of knowing I’m still not quite in vibrational harmony with the new expanded vision. It is so satisfying to mold Energy, more than molding clay, more than painting on a board, more than writing words in a book. There is nothing in all of the Universe more delicious than to be physically focused with this dramatic contrast that abounds and feeling the clarity of your thought and the culminating of your decision and the alignment of your Energy with the decision and then feeling the forces of the Universe, the Energy that creates worlds, flowing with you for the promotion of that idea. That’s the reason you exist. Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks workshop in Napa, CA on February 27, 1997

I’m beginning to understand that it’s not about the pounds I carry around as much as it is finding the answers to the questions I carry. Despite my size, I see that the questions weigh more on my mind than the weight does on my body, and that’s pretty astounding to me.

I’m so excited to be developing the tools I know will expand my life and lead me to achieve my Hearts Desire.

I will do this!

Just watch me . . .

Tigerlily

Happy New Year!

2010-01-02T15:25:00Z

Happy New Year!

I'm back to enjoying eating healthy!

It’s not a New Year’s resolution, it’s more of a flat out, I’ve had enough . . . it’s time to create something different decision.

For me, 2009 was about taking Spiritual responsibility for my life and seeing myself as the creator that I truly am. About accepting that I’ve created every aspect of what I’m living and even bigger for me . . . accepting that I can change and recreate every aspect of it anew.

That second part has been the hard one for me. I don’t know how to explain but it’s easy for me to accept that I’ve created where I am, but not so easy to believe that I can create something different. I know that sounds silly, but it’s how I’ve felt in the past. 2009 has been about me coming into my own power, me finally being able to see that I am the creator, I am the one who chooses what I experience.

So a couple of days ago, I stepped on the scale, I knew I was getting up there, and I wasn’t surprised that the scale reflected back to me the highest weight of my life. I’ve regained everything I released before and 10 pounds on top of that. I’m only 20 pounds away from a benchmark I never, ever, EVER want to experience. In seeing the number on the scale and accepting responsibility for obtaining it, I began to feel a quite determination. I felt determined to stop the upward climb I’ve been on and instead return to what I know works for me and go the other way.

No fireworks, or rockets declaring I’ve had enough, just a subtle, quiet determination that I want to create something different, completely different, and the wonderful feeling of confidence that I can do exactly that.

So that day, I began loading on the vegetables and enjoying every minute of it. In fact I'm surprised how great they’ve been tasting considering it's winter and none of them are really fresh like in summer. I’ve made big pots of veggie soups and stews, loaded with fresh vegetables and seasonings, but very little fat.

I've got such a wonderful mind set that even veggies I was never that fond of in the past are tasting wonderful to me now. I usually feel that there are no fresh vegetables when there is snow on the ground. But I’ve discovered that was just an excuse for not eating healthy in the winter, there are lots of fresh vegetable choices when the snow is here, maybe not as many as in summer, but still lots of choices!

I went back to loosely following the Weight Watchers Points system. I like counting points and I know that for me it works, I do release weight when I’m using it. I don’t feel the need to go to the “support group” classes. I find the weighing in each week focuses too much on where I am, and the lectures tend to sound more fearful to me than joyous and expectant. But I do love the plan.

I started using a food journal again, recording what I eat and enjoying it too. However, this feels different, I'm not being anal about it, I'm just doing it because it's fun. I don't care if I balance the points perfectly, or if I go over or under a bit, I just am having fun playing with points, eating healthier and drinking lots and lots of water.

All of that feels wonderful to me right now, but being an Aber I know that none of the action I take is as important as how I feel about the situation. It’s my vibration of confidence, joy and delightful expectation that is changing my life.

“If you are experiencing a physical condition that has your attention, you are, through your attention to your current condition, projecting it into your future experience. But, by focusing on a different future experience, you are now activating that different experience; and as you project that changed experience into your future, you leave your current experience behind.” Excerpted from Abraham-Hicks Ask and It Is Given Perpetual Flip Calendar

So the most wonderful thing is not what I’m eating, it’s that I’ve got my focus on my Heart’s Desire back. I feel so confident that I can do this now. I’m excited about the weight just melting off my body. I know I can create it, and more importantly I don’t feel like it’s something illusive or short-lived anymore.

I know that all I have to do to stay focused and determined is to make a decision each day to allow my body to find it's perfect weight. It's not a lifelong battle, it's just a daily decision to stay focused and determined.

And I'm so happy to be focused on “what will be” instead of what “appears” now! I'm looking forward to being able to walk for enjoyment and meditation again! I'm excited to begin fitting into my clothes and shoes easily again. I'm excitedly expecting my flexibility to return and even be improved over the past! I'm thrilled about developing new tastes and desires!

I can feel my passion for my Heart’s Desire of releasing weight and allowing my body to find it’s own perfection returning to me and it feels wonderful!

“Every cell in your body has a direct relationship with Creative Life Force, and each cell is independently responding. When you feel joy, all the circuits are open and the Life Force or God Force can be fully received. When you feel guilt or blame or fear or anger, the circuits are hindered and the Life Force cannot flow as effectively. Physical experience is about monitoring those circuits and keeping them as open as possible. The cells know what to do. They are summoning the Energy.” Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in Chicago, IL on Sunday, November 2nd, 1997

I have amazing confidence in 2010 being the year I really start creating a new version of my life! I get excited just thinking about “2010”, it’s going to be a powerful year for me and I’m sure for you too.

I do have one resolution, or really a goal for this year . . . to share it more with you!

I’m back on track, I’m creating a new body, a new life, and I’m hoping you’ll join me for the journey!

Much love,
Tigerlily

Accepting Responsibility And Creative Power

2009-11-30T17:06:00Z

Happy Holidays,

I’m huge! I'm bigger than I’ve ever been before in my life. And yet my weight, recently has became an equally huge gift to me. I’ve mentioned this before, that when I look in the mirror I cannot deny what a powerful creator I am simply because of physical proof of the amount of extra weight on my body.

Creating is creating and every ounce is there, staring back at me as evidence that I am a powerful creator. Not creating what I want necessarily, but powerfully creating what I’ve been focused upon for all these years.

I look around and most people couldn’t possibly eat enough to get to where I am, weight wise, today. With my mind I have turned my body into a fat storing machine extraordinaire. Oh, I know the average American is overweight, but the majority of them are between 20 and maybe 100 pounds overweight. I’m not talking about average, I’m talking about extraordinary weight.

I know this is going to sound funny, but just as a professional athlete must believe in their ability to be successful, they must use mental focus and determination to obtain success, a truly fat person uses the same skills, they just don’t do it consciously. To really be extraordinarily fat, one must believe in their ability to be fat wholeheartedly. Like the athlete must believe in their ability to win, fat people must believe that fat is a distinctly possible reality for them.

The average person may be able think of themselves with a few extra pounds, they may be fearful that if they overindulge over the holidays they may put on 5 or even up to 20 extra pounds, but to carry around the extra weight I carry would be incomprehensible to them. I know because I occasionally see it in their eyes when they look at me, not disapproval . . . incomprehension. “How did you create that?”

For the truly fat person, that is the question. Because in my experience we don’t believe we really created it at all. Let’s face it, if we really could connect that that bag of chips was a direct link to the huffing and puffing after climbing a set of stairs, we’d drop the bag. There is a mysterious thing that happens when we pop open that bag, we honestly don’t intellectually get that those wonderful tasting chips can harm us in any way. How could something that feels so good in that moment be bad for us? As we fill our mouths, we disassociate what is going in our bodies with what extra is on our bodies. Until the delight turns to guilt and pervasive social ideas of what we are doing sinks in and that vibration turns our bodies into fat making machines.

But we don’t think about that, generally I think we feel like gaining weight was something that happens to us. Either food is simply not our friend, or our body is just built the way slender peoples bodies are, or the Universe has worked against us, or it’s the fault of the diet industry, blah, blah, blah.

Whatever the reason, we can’t feel the connection between being truly responsible for what we’ve done to ourselves because we can’t honestly understand how we’ve done it. The link between our actions and our body is never truly made in our minds. Because let’s face it, if it did connect those culturally believed dots, we’d change our actions and from what everyone says . . . change our bodies.

The honest truth is it isn’t a link between our actions and our bodies that created the extra weight. It’s not that bag of chips, or our lack of exercise, it’s our thinking. Our belief that we are capable of creating excessive weight created it for us. Our focus upon it’s possibility is the catalyst that creates it as a reality.

We must understand that just like that professional athlete, there is something special about us, our ability to create what we strongly focus upon in a powerful way. We tend to give credit to the hugely successful and famous as the only powerful creators in the world. We don’t see that there are incredibly powerful creators in plus size shops, prisons, AA meetings, soup kitchens, third world countries and hospitals too. In fact when you take the positive/negative connotation off of creating, it’s possible to see magnificent creating at it’s purest form everywhere you look. In extremes of every conceivable form.

Until I really got that I created my magnificently obese body in all it’s glory, and have begin to take responsibility for the powerful energy it has taken for me TO create it, I had no chance of changing it permanently.

It’s why diets don’t really work, because they too simply take the responsibility out of my hands. If I do X, Y and Z for the rest of my life, I will be thin. Yet, I’ve learned no matter what X, Y and Z is, when it is someone else’s X, Y and Z (or program, or book, or diet plan, or idea) it won’t work for any length of time for me.

So what I learned recently is until I fully accept my powerful artistic responsibility for creating where I am now, all of it, magnificently, I will continue to create more of it. I must accept that every single ounce of extra fat on my body is a manifestation of my amazing, glorious power to create anything I focus upon intently in my life. Even the stuff I don’t want to create.

Most people do not realize that thinking about something is inviting the essence of that "something" into their experience. Pg 23 of Abraham-Hicks "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent"

Within that acceptance comes a huge gift, If I accept that I had the power to create it, then I’ve also got to accept that I have the power to change it and create the opposite. It really IS that simple.

I have thought my way into morbid obesity, I therefore CAN think my way to slender, energetic and vibrant. Through my vibration of strong focus on confusion, pushing against and easily attracting weight, I have created just that in physical. Therefore by changing my vibration to one of strong focus on understanding, allowing vibrancy and health and easily releasing weight, I can attract that too.

Metabolism is vibrational response to your moment in time. Metabolism is the way the Energy is moving through your body. And so, everything is in response to the way you feel - everything is. Everything is mind over matter. Every disease is mental first. Everything is about thought. Everything is about vibration. Everything is about the way you feel. Practice scenarios that feel good - and never mind reality. Reality is only a brief moment in time that you keep repeating. Excerpted from the Abraham-Hicks workshop in Silver Spring, MD on Saturday, May 11th, 2002

I now see myself as the CREATOR, of my life, a powerful extension of Source with proof, looking at me from my mirror, that I am capable of creating whatever I want.

Sending much love and the blessing of acceptance of your own creative power,

Tigerlily

Discovering And Honing My Vibration

2009-11-05T18:00:00Z

Hello Friends,

I have been all over the map lately with releasing weight and everything else in my life. I’m in a place of big upheaval and I am so welcoming the changes that are coming. I’ve been asking for fresh awareness for a while now and it’s coming in from every direction. The wonderful thing is that as it comes in from each area of my life, I can see how it’s all interconnected.

This Spiritual/Physical life is like a tapestry with a million different colored threads coming together to create an amazing picture. I’m not too sure about the people who actually create tapestries, but in my case, I can never tell how one colored thread is going to interact with another, but I’m beginning to understand they are all connected. Each one of them a path to the answer to the others.

What I’m trying to say here is that it’s come to my awareness lately that all of the areas of my life that I’m less than thrilled with are all part of a Spiritual plan to guide me toward the one big answer to them all. I’m beginning to see that there is only one answer. Which Abraham-Hicks has been saying for years.

Someone said, "I have 27 questions." And we said, we have one answer: You like knowing that you are the creator of your experience. You like knowing that everyone else is too. You like knowing that Source supports you in everything that you desire, and that there is nothing that you can identify, whether you articulate it or not, that the Universe withholds from you. All things are given in the moment that you ask. When you are specific about what you want, and you find that Path of Least Resistance, and Energy flows through you toward your inspired idea--that is life at its very best. Excerpted from Abraham-Hicks Stop Fixing And Start Savoring

Quite honestly the simplicity of their message sometimes tends to be too simple for me, I’ve found recently that it’s a little more complex for me than “just look for the better feeling thought”. I’ve been doing that for years and there haven’t been the big changes in my life for which I've been looking. Not the changes I’ve been wanting anyway and I’ve never been able to figure out what is blocking me.

So recently I’ve been studying how to change my relationship with money, another colored thread in my life. I listened to a couple of free teleclass calls in the last week from Elyse Hope Killoran. In a couple of ways they were incredibly informative. Such as helping me to see exactly what my vibration is that I’ve been sending out to the Universe on both money and weight.

I’ve got to admit I was kind of shocked, after studying Abraham-Hicks for 7 ½ years, to find out that my vibration around money really is very different from what I thought it was. But that makes perfect sense, or else I'd be rich.

It of course led me to question the vibration I’m sending out about my body, being overweight and food in general, which I realized were also very different from what I thought they were.

Both completely explain why I’ve been so up and down on my path to releasing weight and attracting abundance. With Abraham I’ve changed so many aspects of my life completely. I’ve found peace and comfort in a way I never dreamed was possible before. Yet I’ve never understood why I couldn’t quite extend it over to effect my abundance and weight.

What I discovered is that even though I’ve become a very positive and optimistic person, I still have these old tapes running in my subconscious. Abraham-Hicks has taught me to change my thinking, and I have, at least my conscious thinking. I do it all the time, but I discovered there are very old scripts that are still playing somewhere deep inside me. Old belief system thinking that may not seem or feel all that powerful, but simply by their existence powerfully effect my vibration. So much so that no matter how happily I walk through my day, the combination of new thinking and old beliefs keeps me stuck where I am and recreating more of the same in my life.

I honestly never before thought as vividly in terms of what I’m transmitting to the Universe. Intellectually I accepted myself as a vibrational being, but I didn’t think of myself as a transmitter, or about what messages I’m actually sending out to Source. It was really eye opening.

When I dug into those old subconscious scripts I found some pretty powerful and negative stuff still lingering there. Basically my vibration has become that I’m a very happy, fat woman. I’m a very Spiritual, fat woman. I’m a peaceful, joyous and did I mention . . . fat woman. Yeah, that’s a vibration that’s sure to recreate more happy fatness in my life. I’ve got the same thing going on in my thinking with money too.

As negative as that may sound, I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be seeing this for the first time. To actually get a feeling for what and how I’m vibrating. It all makes so much sense to me in regard to what I’ve been receiving.

So I’ve been really digging into my vibration lately, I’ve been looking at exactly what my mindset is when I’m sitting in the drive-thru waiting for my fast food super hamburger or footlong coney. I’ve been thinking about my vibration when I dig into that bag of chips or when I head back to the refrigerator, even though I’m not hungry.

At those times there is no desperation, I’ve eliminated desperation from my life. However there is no passion either. It’s more of a numbed feeling of doing something by rote. Doing something I’ve been doing so long in the same way that I don’t even realize it’s contributing to my vibration.

This brings me back to my tapestry, the fact that everything is interconnected in my life. I don't know if I ever would have thought of what my weight vibration is had it not been for me looking for abundance answers. With it I also received a blossoming sense how all of the areas of my life are Spiritual, and that they are all related to one big answer. My vibration and what I’m transmitting out to the Universe is that answer . . . what I’m transmitting about my weight, my value, abundance, family, health . . . everything.

So yes, I’m truly grateful and happy to be aware of this, to begin to understand overall what makes up my vibration. Because that means I’m on the path to changing it. In fact the changes have already started, just my awareness of it started the process of changing it immediately.

Next, I learn how to take control of my vibration and begin being selective about what messages I transmit to Spirit. Sounds pretty exciting to me.

So, what are you vibrating/transmitting?

Much Love,
Tigerlily

The Allowing A Perfect Body Vibration

2009-08-17T15:11:00Z

Hello my friends,

I’m not only back on my blog, but I’m back into the Allowing A Perfect Body vibration! I’m back to thinking healthy, eating healthy, and being healthy! And it feels wonderful!!!

I received Abraham-Hicks “Think And Get Slim: Natural Weight Loss CD. I listened to it the first time and was thrilled with how many unique thoughts and potential awareness it brought to me. It’s going to be so much to mull over and write about.

As is common for me with Abraham-Hicks, I will listen to it over and over and each time I will get something different out of it. It is just full of amazing weight related information, awareness and inspiration.

Overall I think the biggest thing I got out of it listening the first time is a confirmation that when I am in the Allowing A Perfect Body mindset, when I get absolutely convinced I’m doing the best things for myself, when I get excited about releasing weight, when I’m eating rainbows of fresh veggies and fruits, when I’m lighthearted, excited and absolutely pumped about creating a healthy, thinner life . . . that’s when the weight just disappears from my body.

Looking back on last year when I lost 50 pounds (post surgery it was actually more than 50), I realize that when I was in that exquisite Allowing A Perfect Body attitude, releasing the weight wasn’t hard at all. The hardest part at the time was the logistics of eating; . . . what . . . when . . . how much . . . where. That was the only slightly complicated thing in releasing the weight. The rest of it was really automatic once I got into the place of allowing.

The place of allowing . . . lately Abraham-Hicks is calling it the vortex, that place where everything flows naturally, the attitude of self love. It’s the mindset where we offer little if any resistance and allow our dreams to materialize. Abraham talks about it a lot in the CD, in fact they always come back to that in every conversation. It’s the key to attracting anything . . . thinness, money/abundance, success, love or anything else.

I realized when I’m in my AAPB place of allowing, it’s my vibration that actually does all the work for me, it attracts “thin” to me. When I “get out of the way” by being in that mindset, I allow my body to do what it naturally wants to do, which is to let go of what I don’t need and find it’s place of physical balance and health.

When I think about last year, once I got there, I found it pretty easy to stay in the allowing place. My AAPB vibration built upon itself, the longer I did it, the more natural it felt to me and the easier it became. At the time I didn’t think of myself as vibrating “thin”. That’s not something I would have ever seen myself as doing, but I realize now that’s exactly what was happening. And that’s going to be something I focus on strongly this time.

Because in spite of my massive body . . . I felt thin. I felt empowered. I knew I was on to something wonderful. I was succeeding and I felt like the “thin” me, inside me, already. And that was the second strong point I picked up from listening to the CD the first time, that we have to be able to see something different for ourselves than what our reality appears to be right now. We have to make peace with where we are, in order to be able to envision something different. Because as long as we hold on desperately to the reality of the reflection we see in the mirror, we aren’t allowing ourselves to change it.

Make peace with where you are. Appreciate your magnificent body as it is. Appreciate that it moves and that it is flexible and that it digests, that it assimilates. Accept the cellular metabolism, the cellular functioning. Your body is a veritable chemical factory. It is an amazing mechanism. It is morphing constantly into that which is new. It is constantly becoming. It will be whatever you ask it to be. It will be whatever you ask it and allow it to be. It will be whatever you want it and allow it to be. It will be whatever you ask and allow it. It will be whatever you see it to be. It will be whatever you EXPECT it to be!

And most of you can't expect passed what is. That's your limitation. You find it hard to expect passed what is. Stretch that expectation by listening, by feeling for it. And when you start feeling . . . oh, if you could feel what Source expects for you . . . and that's why so often you feels such strong negative emotion . . . that's that fear and inadequacy you describe. When you look at yourself so differently than they way Source looks at you, when you don't expect good things from you . . . because Source is expecting such wonderful things from you . . . there's a cross current going on . . . You have to see as you want it to be. Never mind what is. What is does not mean diddly squat. What is doesn't matter. It's just a point in time, a momentary, manifestational indicator of how you've been thinking. Think differently and it will shift. IT will morph with your thoughts every single time. Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks (Abraham-hicks.com) workshop in Sedona, AZ on August 25, 2007.

So today when I look in my mirror, I’m seeing my beautiful smile, I’m seeing my sparkling eyes, I’m seeing a joyous and delightfully expectant attitude. I’m seeing the love of Grace reflected back to me. I’m seeing a woman who is back in the Allowing A Perfect Body vibration, and she’s beautiful and amazing!

What do you see . . . ?

Much Love,
Tigerlily

The Illusion of Disconnection

2009-08-08T16:35:00Z

Hello friends,

I’ve been walking this intentional Spiritual path for 16 years, and I’ve been a student of Abraham-Hicks for 7, and I had developed to a place where I was very comfortable in my understanding of the Universe, my role in it, and my Spiritual beliefs. I believed that being Spiritually centered was just who I was now, it was how I thought about life, and how I reacted to everything. I never got angry, I rarely got even frustrated, most of the time I was truly a happy, loving and Spiritually focused person. I had begun to take it for granted.

When I look back now, the last few months illuminated for me that I had become a bit arrogant about it all. I was proud of myself for being a woman who never got sucked into anyone else’s frustrations, much less their battles. One who was always deeply serene, centered and joyful. I was a voice of peace, love and soothing when interacting with others. I simply didn't allow anyone else's contrast to effect my life, I refused to let my vibration be lowered to any other level.

Sure I experienced contrast as a part of life, but I chose not to let it determine how I felt about my life. And through Abraham I realized being that feeling good was my birthright. What I didn’t realize that it was something that I had to hold on to and consciously nurture in order to maintain it. I thought I'd become immune to feeling disconnected. I mean I had my days of feeling more connected than others, even weeks, but I always felt my connection was a major part of who I was, something I could completely depend upon being there for me always.

The teachings of Abraham taught me that I get to choose my thoughts and how I react to everything. In 2008 I Gracefully lived through first, my dear Mother’s crossing over, and then faced major surgery feeling strong in my beliefs. I faced both with my Spiritual strength never for a moment wavering. After those events, I was so Spiritually confident that I didn’t think anything could seriously shake me, I thought my Spirituality was secure regardless what happened in my life. But in the aftermath of the anesthesia, my physical recovery, my old habits of self nurturing, and many other things, an overall feeling of numbness overcame me and I began to feel very lost.

My life passion had been expanding my thinking and creating my life through meditation and reading Spiritual books, but I got to a point where I felt so disconnected I could hardly open anything enlightening. When I did, I felt resistance, or worse, numbness. I didn’t know why I had become so resistant to the very part of me that had meant the most to me before. I just missed it terribly. While I wasn’t angry or upset, I was as close to depression as I’ve been since I began my Spiritual path. In the 16 years I've been on this Journey, I've never experienced as profound, or as long a feeling of separation as I have been feeling most of the last 10 months. I know the surgical anesthesia used on me was a trigger for me, (I’d experienced it as a trigger for depression many years ago) but I thought I was Spiritually strong enough that it wouldn’t happen this time.

And during all of this I gained back every ounce I released and became uncomfortable, frustrated and confused with most every aspect of my life, which only deepened the upstream spiral in which I was caught. Once I'd learned how wonderful connection feels, feeling disconnected felt so much worse than it ever had before in the past.

“The faster your vortex spins and the more you have put in it, then the more responsible you must be in being inside of it. Because the more you ask for a wonderful life, anytime you hold thoughts that don't hold you in there . . . You could have a thousand things that when you think about take you right into the vortex, and ONE thing, like a son, that you care about that you think a lot about, that holds you outside the vortex. In other words, it doesn't mean there are big, big, BIG things going on. It means you want to be in there and you're not, because you think thoughts that don't let you stay in.” Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in San Antonio, TX on 4/18/09

However, I now realize I created the situation with a purpose, including the trigger. Because I realize I create everything in my life.

Looking back now I see now that I didn’t see then how much I had already become the woman I had always wanted to be. I have a tendency in life to always focus on how far I have yet to go, so much so that I don’t give myself credit for how far I’ve already come. I see now, that before it all happened I had been doing some very strong asking. As happy as I was, I wasn’t anywhere near content with my life. I looked at the things I still considered wrong with my life and used them as reasons to not give myself credit for how far I’d come, or for the joy I felt in my life. As happy as I had become, there was always a dark cloud of un-created desires hanging over my life, a feeling of “if only” . . .

If only I were thinner . . .

If only I had more money . . .

If only I could actually hear my inner voice speak to me . . .

Feeling disconnected has taught me a deeper appreciation for being connected. I’ve learned that yet created desires are special, to be appreciated and nurtured but not held up as standards to judge myself for where I stand now. I've learned to appreciate my joy and to not take it for granted.

I realize now that it’s all part of living as a Spiritual person, the ups, the downs, the connection and the illusion of disconnection. Because as Abraham says, there is no disconnection, we are always connected, we just may not be allowing the awareness of our connection.

It’s all part of the journey and it’s all beautiful. The past 10 months haven’t felt so great, but the blessing is that I get to choose today to feel wonderful again, even more wonderful than in the past. Today I get to take the good lessons and then gently shut the door on what has been, and then to turn to embrace what is today.

I get to re-create myself again. I get to re-release the pounds I put back on, and to know it will be just as easy this time as it was last year. I get to enjoy releasing them again as much if not more than I enjoyed it last summer. I get to experience my determination and focus again. I get to accept my vulnerability and to accept my strength and to know that I am a Grace filled woman who is capable of both.

I get to choose my outlook again. I get to choose that everything I’ve experienced was designed by Grace and I together, not to frustrate me, but to enhance my life.

I get to appreciate the illusion of disconnection, because for me it sure has enhanced the feeling of being connected again.

“The heaven you are hoping for is here in the moment of your joy. And the hell you fear is here in the absence of your joy. That's it!” Excerpted from an Abraham-Hicks workshop in San Antonio, TX on 11/17/07b

And I get to learn new lessons to share with you.

With much love,

Tigerlily

Hello Again, I'm back!

2009-08-01T15:26:00Z

Hello Again,

I’m not sure if there’s anyone left out there anymore reading this, but if so, I’m back.

It’s been almost a year since my last entry. The year has been full, and so have I. After the surgery to remove the cyst, I attracted every pound I released right back to me. However the great news is, while it took me 3 months to release it, it took almost a full year to attract it back. I can live with that.

Looking back I see clearly why I attracted the weight back to me. The only way I ever learned to comfort myself is with food, and this past year has been one of necessary self comforting for me. I was shaken physically and emotionally much more by the surgery than I admitted or realized and I slipped back so easily into old patterns of eating, thinking and allowing mindlessness.

Spirituality for me is like the ocean tides, some times it’s easy for me to keep my focus and live magically. Other times I have to work at it, as if the tides are out and I have to make the effort to remember who I am, what I believe and the truth of life. But this year has been a new experience for me, I haven’t felt anything like it since I started on my Spiritual path, I haven’t felt this . . . well . . . lost before.

I can’t fully explain where I’ve been, how I’ve been feeling or what my thinking has been, and as an Aber, I realize that dwelling on those things isn’t a good idea anyway. The closest to describing it is I simply felt lost. There was no true intention behind my actions, only following my ego and allowing myself to do whatever it took to make myself feel “better”. Even though I never seemed to get to the feeling of better, only a feeling of more, more, more. That endless craving to fill the void.

For those of you familiar with Abraham-Hicks Emotional Scale, (I’ve created a separate entry for it, see Abraham-Hicks The Emotional Scale) I usually live in the top seven emotions and rarely dip to 8 or below. But this past year I’ve been dwelling between 7 and 16. Never truly upset, just numbly going from mild contentment to feelings of discouragement.

I’ve been an Aber long enough though that I don’t feel bad about this past year. I realize it had it’s purpose. I appreciate where I was much more because of it. I have a much more clear picture of what it means to follow my Heart’s Desire. I have a much deeper appreciation of the path I was on and how important it truly is to me. I feel so much love for this blog and how connected it is to be releasing weight and creating the life I want to be living.

It’s amazing to me the strength I feel, flowing in through my fingers as I type these words. As if my connection to Source, the Angels and the Universe is circling through me, my fingers on the keyboard, the internet, each of you, the Universe and back to me. And with each wave, I feel stronger and stronger in my determination and resolve to Allow My Perfect Body to blossom.

I guess I had to loose a bit of my connection in order to genuinely appreciate how unimaginatively wonderful it is to feel connected again.

A few days ago I ordered Abraham-Hicks Think and Get Slim CD and I can’t wait till I receive it and can listen to Esther and Abraham talk specifically about the subject that is closest to my heart. I can’t wait to blog about it too.

So if you are still with me, or new to my blog, I again invite you to join me on this exciting adventure of mine. I’m back on track, I’m starting from square one and I know in my heart that I can create my life exactly as I want it to be, because I will never give up. I can allow my body to find it’s perfect place of personal balance. For today, I know the first step on any path is always appreciation.

So . . . I’m so grateful to have this blog to record it all. And I'm truly grateful for anyone out there reading it and sharing the journey with me.

Much love,
Tigerlily